There. I said it.<\/p>\n
It is, in fact, completely okay to quit singing as a career. You might think that a post about quitting is incongruous with the whole 29 Days to Diva series. But, I must\u00a0tell you that the two most popular posts on the Sybaritic Singer year in and year out are Top Music School Rankings<\/em> and I Quit Singing<\/em>. My heart sinks in my chest when I look at those stats; partially, because I know those feelings so well. More truthfully, that sinking feeling comes from the confirmation that so many of us are experiencing that specific pain.<\/p>\n \u201cYou should sing professionally\u201d and “Have you ever thought about performing?<\/a>” are such powerful, life-changing expressions to hear from someone else. Full of confidence and aspirations, we seek out the best music schools in the country. We take all the classes, do all of the auditions, suffer all the rejections, relish every single curtain call and then there is a moment we sit in front of a brightly lit computer screen with a blinking cursor. Then, we type, “How to quit singing.”<\/p>\n What it’s like to say, “I’m suspending my singing career.” The post I referenced above about quitting was pointing to this personal essay\u00a0I read in Real Simple written by Adrienne Starr<\/a>. She wrote,<\/p>\n I\u2019m done, I thought. I\u2019m done with singing.<\/p>\n Until that moment, there had never been a time in my life when I didn\u2019t define myself first and foremost as a singer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I was floored. It had never occurred to me that you could\u00a0be done with singing. Our identities are so wrapped up in this business.\u00a0I could shape shift more easily than I could imagine a life in which I would not be a professional singer.<\/p>\n Then, like a person coming out of shell shock,\u00a0I remember particularly awful moments. I remember the moments tucked away in a bathroom, staring in the mirror, tears streaming down my cheeks, thinking, “You must let go of the things not meant for you. Singing\u00a0isn’t meant for you.”<\/p>\n The holding onto it, though, felt like having it. And, even lying to myself about having it was such a lovely feeling that I cannot imagine my world without it.\u00a0Holding on so tightly isn’t the solution. Our grip is infinitely more infallible than loss.<\/p>\n The holding onto it, though, felt like having it. Kevin Clark<\/strong><\/a> gave a fantastic presentation on Baumol’s Cost Disease at the New Music Gathering<\/a> in Baltimore this past January. Out\u00a0of the hundreds of insights he provided, one really stuck with me, “You owe nothing to the money you’ve already spent.”<\/p>\n “You owe nothing to the money you’ve already spent.” He elaborated that this includes the investments of money and time we have spent up to this point. We do not owe anything to the money we spent on our education. We do not owe anything to the time, effort, and money we have poured into auditioning. He continued, “there is only one person in the world who you are undeniably smarter than and it is your past self.”<\/p>\n The work and talent that brought you this far have been confirmed. You can choose to accept that you are smarter than the you that began. The best way to admit to being smarter than you were in the past is to be open to the best things that could happen to you now. Sometimes, that isn’t singing as a career. Sometimes it is. Do not let the fear of losing that which you think defines you supersede the courage it takes to achieve all of what you are capable.<\/p>\n If you happen to be in a place of transition, but you are nervous about quitting, try this useful exercise that I learned from the irrepressible Shaya Lyon<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 quit for a week. Shaya is the founder of The Live Music Project in Seattle<\/a>. The way we were talking about this exercise was related to trying something new which I think is a much more uplifting\u00a0way of thinking than getting stuck on the word “quitting.” The way she\u00a0explained it to me\u00a0it is like trying on a new self for a week. Check it out. Does it fit? Does it feel good to see yourself this way? Does it need some alterations?<\/p>\n Quit for a week. Does it feel good to see yourself this way? The thought of giving something up seems incredibly foreign, especially in contemporary American culture. Perseverance is practically baked into everything we do. “Winners never quit and quitters never win” has seemingly replaced the Pledge of Allegiance as our collective mantra. But, persistence is useless when you are on the wrong path or simply going around in circles.<\/p>\n It is okay to quit if you find yourself saying, “I just don’t want to do this anymore” more than you are saying, “I want to change the world through\u00a0classical music.” Only you will know the difference between a rut and soul-crushing, creativity-crushing apathy.<\/p>\n Maybe it isn’t singing that is actually the thing you are most passionate about. Maybe it is something singing-adjacent. When you discovered that there were actual jobs in music, did you know just how many\u00a0opportunities there were? Did you know about the many offshoots that would present themselves as you were pursuing singing?<\/p>\n We fear that we will disappoint those we care about because we decide to “quit” singing. They’ll think that I cannot follow through on my dreams. Sometimes the dream changes.<\/p>\n Sometimes the dream changes. Remember, we do not owe anything to the old dream. It was nice to have. It was incredibly useful. It got us here. You are making space for bigger opportunities to come to you.<\/p>\n I really needed to write this post for all of us that don’t want to quit as well as\u00a0those that do. It isn’t failure. It is simply an option. When we quit the business, they don’t make us leave our voices. We get to take them with us to our next adventure. We get to use them to change the world in the best way for us and those we love.<\/p>\n When we quit the business, they don’t make us leave our voices. Ready to start putting in the work now? Looking for an accountability group? Get on the waitlist for the #DivaSquad.\u00a0The Diva Squad<\/strong>\u00a0is an exclusive group of singers who are wishing to connect, learn and share with other like-minded ladies who are ready\u00a0to supercharge their singing businesses.\u00a0Get in touch now<\/a> and just put \u201cDiva Squad\u201d in the subject line.<\/p>\n Your #29DaystoDiva Challenge for Day 21 is to Understand that Quitting is an Option. | #29DTD | Sybaritic Singer | www.sybariticsinger.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[543,1],"tags":[550,1204],"class_list":{"0":"post-5510","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-29-days-to-diva","7":"category-uncategorized","8":"tag-29-days-to-diva-2","9":"tag-how-to-be-an-opera-singer","10":"entry","11":"has-post-thumbnail"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5510"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5510\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nYour 29 Days to Diva Challenge for Day 21 is to Understand that Quitting is an Option.<\/h2>\n
![\"Your](\"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/day-21.jpg?w=600\")
\u201cHow could you stop?\u201d<\/h3>\n
\n
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\u201cYou can\u2019t let all your work and talent go to nothing.\u201d<\/h3>\n
\n
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n“Quit for a week”<\/h3>\n
\n
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n“What will quitting say about you?”<\/h3>\n
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<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nKiller Audition Seasons Are Made in the Winter<\/h2>\n
![\"Diva](\"http:\/\/sybariticsinger.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/diva-squad.jpg?w=600\")